


Day 4: Insomnia

by MadhouseVagabond



Series: 30 Day Whump Challenge 2018 [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: 30 Day Whump Challenge, Angst, Anxiety, Day 4, Depression, Gen, Hugs, Insomnia, Vagabond, Worry, cant sleep, geoff just wants to take care of his boys, jack is a mother hen, ryan needs a break, some fluff and comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 12:11:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15640491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadhouseVagabond/pseuds/MadhouseVagabond
Summary: Sometimes it’s hard to find sleep when you’re in the most dangerous Crew in the state.





	Day 4: Insomnia

Night time in Los Santos was always a weird thing. Even though it was dark out, people were nearly as active as they were in the daylight, cars still honked on the roads and there were still sounds of gunfire, though admittedly not as frequent as when there was light out. Geoff Ramsey stood at the window of his penthouse apartment, surveying the city below him with a tired eye. His city. It was nearly two am but the Kingpin couldn't sleep to save his life. He was tired but sleep would not come to him. It had been this way for the past month, Geoff rarely getting a full night's rest, maybe catching and hour here and there. He'd tried medication, but none of that shit seemed to work. He'd tried everything that normally made him tired but nothing seemed to put him to sleep. He sighed and scratched the back of his head.

 

"You too huh?"

 

He turned and saw Jeremy standing near the love seat shifting awkwardly. The lad looked exhausted and, if Geoff were being honest, not great. He looked like a ghost of his former self.

 

"Yeah. Welcome to the night club kid," he said flatly as he walked to his normal recliner and plopped down, Jeremy taking a seat close on the couch.

 

"Do you know why you can't sleep?" he asked. Geoff shook his head and rubbed his face with both his hands.

 

"Not a fucking clue. You?" he asked.

 

"Not really. I just couldn't sleep for some reason," Jeremy said.

 

"How long has this been going on?" Geoff asked.

 

"Oh it was just tonight. I've been sleeping like a fucking baby the last few days," Jeremy chuckled. Geoff nodded and smiled.

 

"Well for someone who's been getting decent sleep you sure look like shit," he joked. Jeremy remained quiet for a moment, Geoff wondering if he'd pushed the wrong buttons with the lad.

 

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

 

"No, you're right. I shouldn't have lied. These last few days have been...less than easy for me," Jeremy said slowly.

 

"What's wrong?" Geoff asked surprised. Jeremy was normally so cheerful and happy, he couldn't imagine the lad having a bad day.

 

"I just keep worrying that one of these days, you guys won't need me anymore. That I'll be useless and then I'll lose all of you," Jeremy said quietly, tears brimming his eyes.

 

"Jeremy, that will never happen! You're a part of our family! We could never stop loving you or find you useless," Geoff said gently and placed a hand on Jeremy's knee comfortingly. The lad nodded and looked up at the ceiling, trying not to cry as he pressed his lips tightly together before speaking.

 

"I know. I really do. I just can't stop thinking about it every now and then. I love you all and I owe you everything! You've given me a home, a family. I don't know what I'd do without all you guys," he cried, still fighting back tears.

 

"Hey, c'mere," Geoff said and pulled Jeremy in for a hug.

 

"Don't ever think you don't play a vital part here in the Crew. You're valued to us Jeremy and we love you. We always will," he said as he rubbed the lad's back. Jeremy nodded and sniffled when they separated.

 

"Okay, now go try to get some sleep. I want to see you smile in the morning, it always brightens my day," Geoff said and Jeremy nodded, getting to his feet and shuffling away before turning back.

 

"What about you?" he asked.

 

"I'll be fine. I'll go to bed here in a few," Geoff said and waved his hand dismissively. Jeremy nodded and walked back to his room.

 

Geoff sat there for a moment before sighing and glanced in the direction Jeremy had vanished in, making a mental note to make the lad feel more like he belonged and that he was important, before pulling out a book, turning on a nearby lamp and started reading. He was there for an hour before he heard footsteps and glanced up, seeing Ryan shuffling into the room.

 

"Hard time sleeping?" he asked. Ryan nodded and sat down, staring at the floor.

 

"What's wrong Ryan?" Geoff asked as he set his book aside.

 

"Do you ever see them Geoff?" Ryan asked slowly. Geoff raised an eyebrow.

 

"See who?"

 

"Everyone you've killed?" Ryan asked looking up into Geoff's eyes with a look that froze the Kingpin's blood.

 

"Because I do Geoff. I see their faces every time I close my eyes, hear their voices, their screams, see the blood," Ryan said. He didn't sound sad, more like he was stating a simple fact of life as if it were normal.

 

"Fuck Ryan, why did you never tell me?" he asked.

 

"You never asked," Ryan said with a shrug and looked away for a moment.

 

"Do you think that's my punishment?" he asked.

 

"Punishment?" Geoff asked.

 

"For being the way I am. For being a heartless killer. That I'm condemned to forever see them and hear them because of what I've done," Ryan stated.

 

"Are, are you okay Ryan?" Geoff asked gently. Ryan looked away and slowly shook his head before looking back.

 

"I haven't been alright in years Geoff. I can't help being the way I am, but there are days when it's just too much. What would it be like to be normal? To not be a psychopath? To not have voices telling me to kill every breathing thing in my path every day? Sometimes I just want to be normal Geoff! Why can't I be?" Ryan asked. Geoff was taken aback, having no idea how to process this.

 

"That's some heavy shit Ryan. Why did you never tell me? If I'd known I'd never ask you to do interrogations!" he exclaimed. Ryan just shook his head.

 

"It's work that needs to be done. And if it means I'm doing it instead of Jeremy or Gavin, or you, then I'm okay with it. I'd rather be the monster than any of you," he said.

 

"You're not a monster Ryan! Sure you're fucking weird sometimes but that's just your charm. You're one of the nicest and most thoughtful guys I know! You always put others first, the Crew always comes first to you. That's admirable!" Geoff exclaimed. Ryan looked sadly up at his boss and studied his face for a moment.

 

"There's no happy ending for me Geoff. In our line of work, we don't get that luxury. Maybe Jeremy and Jack could manage it, but you and I? We don't get a happy ending," he said.

 

Geoff remained silent, staring at his crewmate, one of his closest friends he'd known for years. He pulled Ryan into a hug and squeezed him tightly.

 

"You may be right. But I'm still hoping there's a happy outcome for you. You deserve to be happy Ryan, having to deal with all the shit you carry," he said.

 

"Thanks Geoff," Ryan said softly and hugged back.

 

The two separated and soon Ryan was reading alongside Geoff, his glasses perched on his crooked nose. They stayed that way for a long time before Ryan stood and slowly made his way back to his room, giving Geoff a small smile of thanks before he left. Geoff sighed and smiled a little, happy that he was able to comfort his friend, or that he'd at least tried. Soon heavy footfalls reached his ears and he looked over to see Jack standing there. The giant man crossed his arms and stared at his boss.

 

"Don't give me that look Pattillo!" Geoff said.

 

"Geoff, go the fuck to sleep," Jack said.

 

"That would be great dipshit if I could! Why do you think I'm out here lying around like a limp dick instead of in my bed?" Geoff snapped.

 

"You've been under a lot of stress lately Geoff, which is understandable all things considering. Please at least try to get some rest, I hate to see you slowly killing yourself," Jack said more gently this time, a look of concern on his bearded face.

 

Geoff sighed and set his book aside, knowing Jack wouldn't leave or sleep himself until Geoff had given in, his mother hen attitude annoying at times.

 

"You know, you can be a real asshole when you want things your way," Geoff muttered.

 

"That's why you love me dickhead," Jack smiled and winked at Geoff who chuckled.

 

The two men walked down the hall, parting ways at their doors and wishing each other a good night. Geoff changed into his bed clothes and collapsed into bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. He tried to sleep, closed his eyes, calmed his breathing and tried not to think about all the shit he had to deal with. But he wasn't able to sleep, right at the precipice of drifting off so many times but never taking the final leap. He sighed and thought about his friends. How Jeremy was worried about his place and his future with the crew, how Ryan seemed depressed and unsatisfied with his life. He wanted to help them and started thinking of ways to help.

 

"You're doing that thing again Ramsey," he muttered quietly to himself. "You're thinking too much and worrying too much. Jack's right, you are stressing yourself out."

 

Jack was normally right, an infuriating fact to Geoff but one he couldn't deny. He closed his eyes and took a few deep calming breaths, letting go of all his stress.

 

Hopefully he could get some sleep tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor boys. As always kudos and comments feed my desire to write more shit and are greatly appreciated.


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